Perfectionism: the silent trap that paralyzes us

Many years ago, there was a time when, in every job interview, I was asked what my greatest weakness was. And I, with a certain pride disguised as modesty, would answer: "being a perfectionist." I said it because I had heard it was the right answer. The one that sounded committed, professional, responsible, and the one that HR people wanted to hear, and I wanted the job—it was a win-win.

Today I say this from a different place, one I'm still learning to transform. Because perfectionism (maladaptive, my psychologist would say) can be one of the heaviest burdens we carry for years without realizing it.

---

Every Monday I have my therapy sessions. They're my sacred spaces for reflection, receiving loving guidance, and working on everything I feel I still can't resolve on my own (which, to be honest, is quite a lot). Last week, my therapist asked me why I was putting off the release of The In Between for so long . What was I missing?

Then came my long list of elaborate excuses: the content wasn't finished, there were still things to adjust, I needed to think a little more, it required more time, maybe it wasn't the best time to launch. And I could go on.

But the truth was different. I had had everything for a long time. What was happening was that everything was being evaluated by my most critical and demanding self.

That's when I understood something uncomfortable: the perfectionist standard often doesn't motivate... it paralyzes. It turns every project into an impossible test. It acts as a filter that convinces us that nothing, ever, is enough.

Continuing with the session, my therapist suggested a simple exercise: making a list of the advantages and disadvantages of being a perfectionist. I thought it would be balanced. But when I sat down to write… I could only fill in the disadvantages column. The list began like this:

• Wasting a lot of time and energy checking everything over and over again.

• Obsessively analyzing whether it's okay, whether it's sufficient, whether it could be better.

• Getting frustrated when something doesn't go exactly as I expected.

• Abandoning projects that I really want to do.

• Stopping from starting things for fear of not being up to the task.

• Postponing plans because I feel I need more time to perfect them.

• To overwhelm myself with unnecessary details.

And then I understood something key: it wasn't a lack of time or resources. It was fear mixed with high expectations.

Voltaire wrote a phrase that continues to resonate centuries later: "The perfect is the enemy of the good."

And perhaps today we could add something more: it is also an enemy of the possible, the real, and the living.

Perfectionism robs us of momentum. It keeps us in perpetual limbo, waiting for an ideal moment that never arrives. Meanwhile, ideas grow cold, projects fizzle out, and confidence slowly erodes.

Perhaps the question isn't "Is it ready?" but rather: What do I lose if I don't move forward?

Moving forward imperfectly is still moving forward. Publishing something incomplete can be braver than keeping a perfect work hidden away where no one sees it. Because creating, sharing, and making mistakes are all part of the creative process.

If you're putting something off today because it's not perfect yet, because you feel it's not enough, because you think you're missing something... I have an invitation for you:

Ask yourself what you're missing out on while you wait for perfection.

Perhaps the true act of self-love is allowing yourself to begin before you feel ready.

I'm sharing a short guide I put together as a personal reminder for those days when I'm about to abandon an idea or project because I feel it's "not ready yet" (see guide)